l&c have dated a lot. we have dated construction workers, firemen, anesthesiologists (c really wanted that to work), bug boys, students, electrical engineers, pilots, the unemployed living at home with no car...put it this way: we have dabbled in a bit of everything. with that being said, we have made some discoveries along the way. it really does not matter the job he goes to every morning, the car he drives, the boat he has on lake powell (although that is a bonus), or the amount of money he makes. there is an inherent quality that some males posses and some do not; and although there is not a name for it, this quality is what determines the difference between a boy and a man.
a boy will text and only text. a man will call.
a boy will open your door on the first date as you are getting in the car. a man will open all doors. every time. no matter what type of door.
a boy plays with toys. a man works with tools.
a boy will be interested in getting to know you...until he makes out with you. a man will be genuinely interested in getting to know you annnnd getting to make out with you.
a boy tries to prove himself over and over by talking about himself. a man is confident.
a boy looks for somebody to to take care of him. a man looks for somebody to take care of.
a boy will talk about doing nice things for you. a man will do nice things for you.
a boy knows how to load the washing machine. a man knows what can't go in the dryer.
a boy is afraid to commit. a man won't let go of the hand he's holding.
we know that we don't have the whole dating thing figured out, but we're getting there. one of the wonderful things that we have learned along the way is this: a man is the one we remember.
kisses&disses:
kisses:
-men. ladies, if you have one, don't let him go. they are few and far between.
-the men in our lives. yes, we said our. b(dub)&c(av), you rule. thanks for being so manly.
-boyz II men. i'm "on bended knee". don't make this "the end of the road". "i'll make love to you" if you're a man.
disses:
-l knowing all the words to the boys II men songs we listened to while writing this post (not sure if this is a kiss or a diss?).
-boys. we have written about you one too many times. quit being attention whores and turn into men. we are sick of telling stories about you.
-like we said, never send a boy to do a man's job. thanks.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
blind date or blind disaster?
blind things that we like:
the three blind mice. we dressed up as them for halloween...duh.
helen keller. the person and the jokes. yeah, we just went there.
blinds on windows. we live in arizona. it's an absolute necessity.
the blindside. for many reasons. great movie, great message, great life to aspire to have. we mean leigh ann tuohy's...not michael oher's.
blind things that we dislike:
blind dates.
l&c have both been on a few blind dates recently. we would assume that most people have been on a blind date at some point in their lives, be it formal or informal. the fact of the matter is, how often are these blind dates "successful"? well, in our case...never.
c was set up on a blind date by a member of her family. from the start, this date was doomed. he was a foot doctor, he lived an hour away, and he was wearing a shirt that was too short. can we talk about this for a second? it seems to be a common issue. boys: you are not the same size you were in high school and you suck at laundry. things you need to know: if the shirt hits above your belt, it's probably time to go up a size. not probably, it is. go to the store...now. seriously. get up. go. unless it's sunday. in that case, you may wait until tomorrow. we digress. upon meeting this doctor of feet, who we will now refer to as "scholl's", c knew it wasn't going to happen, but decided to be open minded and give this guy a chance. they took a stroll on their feet (haha) around tempe marketplace and ended up at lucille's for dinner, where a long, boring, long, boring conversation ensued. he wasn't funny. he wasn't. in fact, he didn't even try to be. the point is, it sucked. and during their goodbye he stated that he needed to go home and study...feet. on a weekend. cool. good riddance. no success with "scholl's".
l's heart breaks a little as she types this story. l was shown a picture of "bashful" and asked if she would like to meet him. if you saw this picture, we don't care if you are a guy or a girl, you would have said yes. they met for dinner and the first five minutes was bad. like, so bad l was nervous about how long one dinner could take. lucky for her, things looked up. and the date went great. so great in fact, that they had a second date. "bashful" was the perfect gentleman and took l to one of her favorite restaurants. all of her doors were opened, he asked questions about l and didn't just talk about himself; basically charmed the pants off of her. not in a literal sense, come on people. as they were saying goodbye for the evening, the guard dog of hackberry place (who turns out, isn't such a good guard dog) escaped. one second he was there, and the next second he was nowhere to be found. before l could put her shoes on to go find said guard pooch, the sexy, charming, handsome boy in the truck pulled around the corner of her street with the dog in his lap. l melted. this was it! she had found the one. the heavens opened and angels were singing. a great after text was received. this blind date was almost a success. it was this close! until bashful disappeared. missing. gone. never to be heard from again. no success with bashful.
so the question we now pose is, where are we going wrong? or are our friends going wrong? typically when you meet someone you have the flirty interaction and dialogue that leads to a date. in blind dating, your friends believe they know you and the other person well enough to assume that sparks will fly when you meet. is it possible to have a successful date without the initial flirty connection to get you there? for this house, no. leave it to us, friends. we don't want your help. just kidding. we take that back. we'll take all the help we can get. send the single gentleman callers our way. but seriously, we would love to hear your experience. have you had success from a blind date? are you married to someone who once stood on your doorstep, sight unseen, completely unaware of what would face them when the door opened? are you seriously dating someone that your friend decided you'd be perrrrfect for? well good for you. as for us, we will be sticking to wearing our mouse costumes, telling helen keller jokes and watching the blindside. have a good night.
and for your reference:
-just because we both like checked shirts from j.crew, does not mean we should date. that will actually probably clash.
-just because we both like the hangover, does not mean we will make good lovers.
-just because he enjoys the outdoors, and we pretend we like camping when boys are around, does not mean we will be singing kumbaya for eternity together. we don't really even like camping.
-just because you went grocery shopping and bought corn bran, does not mean that you will be sitting together in your breakfast nook 50 years from now eating the same cereal.
-just because you both wear silly bandz, does not mean you are going to reproduce and have children together who will also wear silly bandz.
kisses&disses:
kisses:
-"bashful" found lucky. intruders are no longer a threat at hackberry place. oh wait, our house got tp'ed twice in a week. nice guard dog.
-the fact that your date will most likely be the one and only time you have to see or speak to that person.
-friends looking out for friends and setting them up on dates. bless your hearts.
-facebook for allowing us to get a sneak peak at what will be waiting for us on the other side of the door.
disses:
-podiatrists. so weird.
-boys who don't know their shirt size.
-boys who don't like corn bran.
-silly bandz. they're out.
-wasting a weekend evening on meeting someone who....sucks. but thank for the meal!
the three blind mice. we dressed up as them for halloween...duh.
helen keller. the person and the jokes. yeah, we just went there.
blinds on windows. we live in arizona. it's an absolute necessity.
the blindside. for many reasons. great movie, great message, great life to aspire to have. we mean leigh ann tuohy's...not michael oher's.
blind things that we dislike:
blind dates.
l&c have both been on a few blind dates recently. we would assume that most people have been on a blind date at some point in their lives, be it formal or informal. the fact of the matter is, how often are these blind dates "successful"? well, in our case...never.
c was set up on a blind date by a member of her family. from the start, this date was doomed. he was a foot doctor, he lived an hour away, and he was wearing a shirt that was too short. can we talk about this for a second? it seems to be a common issue. boys: you are not the same size you were in high school and you suck at laundry. things you need to know: if the shirt hits above your belt, it's probably time to go up a size. not probably, it is. go to the store...now. seriously. get up. go. unless it's sunday. in that case, you may wait until tomorrow. we digress. upon meeting this doctor of feet, who we will now refer to as "scholl's", c knew it wasn't going to happen, but decided to be open minded and give this guy a chance. they took a stroll on their feet (haha) around tempe marketplace and ended up at lucille's for dinner, where a long, boring, long, boring conversation ensued. he wasn't funny. he wasn't. in fact, he didn't even try to be. the point is, it sucked. and during their goodbye he stated that he needed to go home and study...feet. on a weekend. cool. good riddance. no success with "scholl's".
l's heart breaks a little as she types this story. l was shown a picture of "bashful" and asked if she would like to meet him. if you saw this picture, we don't care if you are a guy or a girl, you would have said yes. they met for dinner and the first five minutes was bad. like, so bad l was nervous about how long one dinner could take. lucky for her, things looked up. and the date went great. so great in fact, that they had a second date. "bashful" was the perfect gentleman and took l to one of her favorite restaurants. all of her doors were opened, he asked questions about l and didn't just talk about himself; basically charmed the pants off of her. not in a literal sense, come on people. as they were saying goodbye for the evening, the guard dog of hackberry place (who turns out, isn't such a good guard dog) escaped. one second he was there, and the next second he was nowhere to be found. before l could put her shoes on to go find said guard pooch, the sexy, charming, handsome boy in the truck pulled around the corner of her street with the dog in his lap. l melted. this was it! she had found the one. the heavens opened and angels were singing. a great after text was received. this blind date was almost a success. it was this close! until bashful disappeared. missing. gone. never to be heard from again. no success with bashful.
so the question we now pose is, where are we going wrong? or are our friends going wrong? typically when you meet someone you have the flirty interaction and dialogue that leads to a date. in blind dating, your friends believe they know you and the other person well enough to assume that sparks will fly when you meet. is it possible to have a successful date without the initial flirty connection to get you there? for this house, no. leave it to us, friends. we don't want your help. just kidding. we take that back. we'll take all the help we can get. send the single gentleman callers our way. but seriously, we would love to hear your experience. have you had success from a blind date? are you married to someone who once stood on your doorstep, sight unseen, completely unaware of what would face them when the door opened? are you seriously dating someone that your friend decided you'd be perrrrfect for? well good for you. as for us, we will be sticking to wearing our mouse costumes, telling helen keller jokes and watching the blindside. have a good night.
and for your reference:
-just because we both like checked shirts from j.crew, does not mean we should date. that will actually probably clash.
-just because we both like the hangover, does not mean we will make good lovers.
-just because he enjoys the outdoors, and we pretend we like camping when boys are around, does not mean we will be singing kumbaya for eternity together. we don't really even like camping.
-just because you went grocery shopping and bought corn bran, does not mean that you will be sitting together in your breakfast nook 50 years from now eating the same cereal.
-just because you both wear silly bandz, does not mean you are going to reproduce and have children together who will also wear silly bandz.
kisses&disses:
kisses:
-"bashful" found lucky. intruders are no longer a threat at hackberry place. oh wait, our house got tp'ed twice in a week. nice guard dog.
-the fact that your date will most likely be the one and only time you have to see or speak to that person.
-friends looking out for friends and setting them up on dates. bless your hearts.
-facebook for allowing us to get a sneak peak at what will be waiting for us on the other side of the door.
disses:
-podiatrists. so weird.
-boys who don't know their shirt size.
-boys who don't like corn bran.
-silly bandz. they're out.
-wasting a weekend evening on meeting someone who....sucks. but thank for the meal!
Monday, February 21, 2011
lights, camera, action.
after watching the bachelor, and being completely disgusted with chantel o.'s red dress, but completely impressed with her house, we decided to record some movies on dvr. not because we love movies, but because our dvr decided to delete our list of flicks.
did we choose our favorite movies? no. did we choose the movies we had heard were good? absolutely not. we chose the ones that boys like. duh. cuddle corner.
movies that made the cut:
avatar: it's three hours, need we say more?
the proposal: it's a chick flick. l is not convinced boys like this. c is. would anyone like to accompany l to the cuddle corner and test c's theory out? great.
the bourne identity: we don't love this, but you guys do.
movies that did not make the cut:
dear john: we don't want anyone to be jealous of channing tatum's good looks. and drooling is not becoming on a lady.
the stepfather: scary and suspenseful. we don't watch it because it's a good movie, but because it's a time-old tradition on our couch. more than half of the lines are memorized due to watching it so much.
the hills have thighs: there are no words.
kisses&disses:
kisses:
-our couch. it rules.
-we don't know how to put this, but when you're "not completely paying attention to the movie," but still laugh at the funny parts. funny or awkward?
disses:
-dvr. thanks for deleting our fine stock of movies and making us record new ones.
-the movies hbo plays from 2am to 4am. yikes.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
all you need is love.
happy day of love (one day late)!
to the lovers: we hope you had a special day with your special someone.
to the bachelors/bachelorettes: we hope you ate a lot of chocolate and didn't wallow in misery. mr./ms. right is out there. like our good friend mr. buble says, you just haven't met them yet.
as for us, well there were no disappointments. ;)
kisses&disses
kisses:
-a day devoted to love/being miserable.
disses:
-a day devoted to love/being miserable.
to the lovers: we hope you had a special day with your special someone.
to the bachelors/bachelorettes: we hope you ate a lot of chocolate and didn't wallow in misery. mr./ms. right is out there. like our good friend mr. buble says, you just haven't met them yet.
as for us, well there were no disappointments. ;)
kisses&disses
kisses:
-a day devoted to love/being miserable.
disses:
-a day devoted to love/being miserable.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
reduce, reuse, recycle.
we've decided we want to start saving the environment. one boy at a time. we're recycling. dear group of boys we already dated, we're baaaaack.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
new inbox message: "...ill yourself"
we would like to take a little walk down memory lane. think back, and think hard, to a time full of apathy, drama and spin the bottle, aka, high school. some of us loved it, some of us hated it, but we are not here to discuss that. what we are here to discuss are the high school nights, waiting by the phone for that special someone to call. when the exciting moment came, when the phone rang and the boy/girl's voice you had been waiting to hear came over the line, you automatically and immediately settled down into your "spot." everyone had one. the place you would go in your house growing up to talk to your gentleman/gentlelady callers. this was the spot where amazing things happened. stories unfolded, tears were shed, relationships bloomed, and in some cases, died. suck.
fast forward to twenty eleven and think to what is now your "spot." do you have one? if you said yes, you are either lying, or in a long term relationship...if that's the case, stop reading our blog. just kidding. but send your single friends our way. for real. we have done our homework and none, we repeat, none of our girlfriends can confidently say that they have a "spot." what they do have is a cell phone with unlimited text included in their plan.
it is a blessing and curse.
blessings:
we all are busy during the day. whether we are at work, school or gtl-ing, we all have things to do. 30 minute conversations on the phone are not always feasible. texting allows for little messages here and there, letting the person of interest know that you are thinking about them. or not. everyone likes to wake up to a "good morning beautiful" text, or receive "been thinking about you" during lunch, but the best of all, is the after text. we are in love with the after text. borderline obsessed. if it is not in your normal texting routine, add it. now. unsure of what we are referring to? let us shed some oh, so glorious, light on you. the after text is the text message that is sent or received immediately following a date. this text says so little, but so much, at the same time. it does not need to be lengthy, but it should be sincere. this text lets the recipient know that you genuinely had good time on your date. DO NOT send this text if you did not have a good time. that is what we call mixed signals and bad etiquette. l&c have taken the time to go through past texting conversations to each find some of their favorite after texts. drum roll please....
c's:
"Well I just got home. I'm about to crash. Sleep tight you little sooner, it was good to see you tonight. Hope to see you soon!"
"had a good time :) thanks for coming with me, I really enjoyed talking to you."
l's:
"Glad you got home safe. A lot of fun you are. Night."
"Okay. Just makin sure you wanted to go out again. I had a great time with you."
like we said, we LOVE them. so much. and rest assured, that as l or c are discussing the date they went on and the after text arrives, a very enthusiastic "i got an after text!!!" is yelled through hackberry place. :)
curses:
texting allows boys, and girls for that matter, an easy in and an easier out. it's a double edged sword...it's easy to meet and easy to "forget".
recently l was involved in a relationship, and by relationship we mean a text-only relationship with the "easter bunny." not really the easter bunny, but that's what we call him. he had a lot to deliver... and not just on holidays. "eb" was a catch. seriously, though. good job, good sense of humor and good looks. they met on black friday, (red flag #2890) and the texting commenced. and it was good. laugh out loud good. l was very patient. she had distractions which allowed him to text her for 3 weeks before asking her out.. through text. l put all of her eggs in one basket and went on a date with "easter bunny." the date was great. a good time was had by both (or so she thought). texting resumed. and continued on for-ev-errrr. and then one day he never responded, and hasn't been heard from since. vanished. and because the relationship was based solely on text messages, he could. and he did. it's safe to say, l will have an empty easter basket this year. santa? any takers?
a few rules everyone should follow:
kisses&disses
kisses:
-thank you iphone, for storing all messages and making it easy to delete all messages. easter bunny: erased.
-fun, flirtatious texts. thank you boys.
-the chime your phone makes when you receive a text from someone you like. butterflies.
disses:
-one word texts. especially the letter "k". if you send that, the response you deserve is, "..ill yourself."
-people who don't spell correctly in text messages. no, i do not want to go "hot tubing" with you. what is a hot tube??
-not checking send recipient. remember this guy?
fast forward to twenty eleven and think to what is now your "spot." do you have one? if you said yes, you are either lying, or in a long term relationship...if that's the case, stop reading our blog. just kidding. but send your single friends our way. for real. we have done our homework and none, we repeat, none of our girlfriends can confidently say that they have a "spot." what they do have is a cell phone with unlimited text included in their plan.
it is a blessing and curse.
blessings:
we all are busy during the day. whether we are at work, school or gtl-ing, we all have things to do. 30 minute conversations on the phone are not always feasible. texting allows for little messages here and there, letting the person of interest know that you are thinking about them. or not. everyone likes to wake up to a "good morning beautiful" text, or receive "been thinking about you" during lunch, but the best of all, is the after text. we are in love with the after text. borderline obsessed. if it is not in your normal texting routine, add it. now. unsure of what we are referring to? let us shed some oh, so glorious, light on you. the after text is the text message that is sent or received immediately following a date. this text says so little, but so much, at the same time. it does not need to be lengthy, but it should be sincere. this text lets the recipient know that you genuinely had good time on your date. DO NOT send this text if you did not have a good time. that is what we call mixed signals and bad etiquette. l&c have taken the time to go through past texting conversations to each find some of their favorite after texts. drum roll please....
c's:
"Well I just got home. I'm about to crash. Sleep tight you little sooner, it was good to see you tonight. Hope to see you soon!"
"had a good time :) thanks for coming with me, I really enjoyed talking to you."
l's:
"Glad you got home safe. A lot of fun you are. Night."
"Okay. Just makin sure you wanted to go out again. I had a great time with you."
like we said, we LOVE them. so much. and rest assured, that as l or c are discussing the date they went on and the after text arrives, a very enthusiastic "i got an after text!!!" is yelled through hackberry place. :)
curses:
texting allows boys, and girls for that matter, an easy in and an easier out. it's a double edged sword...it's easy to meet and easy to "forget".
recently l was involved in a relationship, and by relationship we mean a text-only relationship with the "easter bunny." not really the easter bunny, but that's what we call him. he had a lot to deliver... and not just on holidays. "eb" was a catch. seriously, though. good job, good sense of humor and good looks. they met on black friday, (red flag #2890) and the texting commenced. and it was good. laugh out loud good. l was very patient. she had distractions which allowed him to text her for 3 weeks before asking her out.. through text. l put all of her eggs in one basket and went on a date with "easter bunny." the date was great. a good time was had by both (or so she thought). texting resumed. and continued on for-ev-errrr. and then one day he never responded, and hasn't been heard from since. vanished. and because the relationship was based solely on text messages, he could. and he did. it's safe to say, l will have an empty easter basket this year. santa? any takers?
a few rules everyone should follow:
- do not ask girls out on dates through texts. don't be a coward. treat her like a lady.
- do not talk about feelings through text messages unless you have in real life first.
- do not text a guy or girl because you are bored. it gives the wrong impression unless you like them.
- no response means not interested. stop trying.
- do not text on a date or while you're with a person of interest. ruuuuuude.
- a missed call requires a call back. not a text back.
- if your plan is to have a lengthy text convo with a girl...grow some gonads, pick up the phone and press send. it is okay to actually talk on the phone. you might like it.
- do not text while driving. you will get chlamydia and die.
- sarcasm doesn't have a font, but we encourage it nonetheless.
- respond to texts in a timely manner. timely being the key word. it does not take 5 hours to type 7 words into your phone. if it does, you have bigger problems. figure it out.
- make sure you know the recipients boundaries before you start flexting or sexting. it could get awkward really fast.
- send after texts!
kisses&disses
kisses:
-thank you iphone, for storing all messages and making it easy to delete all messages. easter bunny: erased.
-fun, flirtatious texts. thank you boys.
-the chime your phone makes when you receive a text from someone you like. butterflies.
disses:
-one word texts. especially the letter "k". if you send that, the response you deserve is, "..ill yourself."
-people who don't spell correctly in text messages. no, i do not want to go "hot tubing" with you. what is a hot tube??
-not checking send recipient. remember this guy?
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