the "grenade"

because one of the members of hackberry place was a resident of new jersey for much of her young life, terms from the show jersey shore are frequently used... constantly might be a more appropriate word.. ok, so l is wearing a GTL shirt right now.  the jersey shore phrase we want to educate our readers on today is "taking the grenade."

urbandictionary.com defines the grenade as an "a guy/girl that you're not interested in who is jumped on for the sake of your friends."  ... similar to the times of war when the enemy tosses a grenade over the lines and a comrade jumps on it to ensure the safety of others.  used in a sentence: come on dude, you owe me, i took the grenade last time.

if jordin sparks didn't make this clear to everyone, love is a battlefield.  and the battlefield is full of eligible bachelors and their less than desirable roommates/coworkers/high school friends/frat bros/dog sitters, etc.. known as grenades.  we will now share with you l&c's most recent encounter with an ever-dreaded"grenade."

it was a hot arizona july night.  l&c were sweating (while maintaining their adorable appearance - alliteration, 2 points) on a front lawn of a house party.  ghetto.  c was lovestruck the second she saw "maroon 5". she didn't mind spending every day outside his window in the pouring raaaaain.  wait.  we're in arizona.  it's a desert, it doesn't rain.  but she did think "m5" was hot.. and older.. and hot.. and funny... and did we mention hot??  anyway, "m5"'s roommate ("flip phone") wasn't mad about meeting l.  in fact, within 15 minutes of meeting her, he had maneuvered her number into his flip phone address book (red flag #624 - you'd be surprised how smooth a guy with a flip phone is at getting digits) and was texting her the next day.  unfortunately for c, "m5" had an iphone, and maybe he was new to the apple world?  but he didn't quite have the skills that "flip phone" did at getting digits.  and so the texting between l and "fp" commenced.  and it was annoying.  l was completely disinterested in "fp", but by responding, and l keeping in touch, the potential of c seeing "m5" again increased. and because that's what good roommates do: sacrifice their time and texts to help their roommate find true love, i.e., "take the grenade."

after weeks of l suffering, looking at her phone still waiting for "bP" to call, and only getting texts from the dreaded "fp", a double date was arranged.  it was going to happen.  c, the beauty queen of only 18 (ok, 22), was finally going to see "m5."

c spent hours making sure she looked perfect for the big night.  l, on the other hand, took her time checking facebook, blogs of random families, sports scores, researching owl migration patterns, and doing anything to avoid getting ready for this date.  five minutes prior to pick-up, l threw on some jeans and ran a straightener through her hair.

the date was fun.  l rode in the front of the truck with "fp", while c and "m5" got cozy in the back.  that's not true.  c could have sworn there was a soundtrack to her date which had maroon 5 songs on repeat.  "m5" was everything she thought he would be, but by the end of the night, he still didn't have her number.  the front of the truck date was not the same as the back of the truck date.  l spent her evening warding off "fp" advances, and doing her roommate duty of taking the grenade.  l may or may not agree that the date was fun... c wrote this paragraph.

it's been a few weeks since that magical evening.  "fp" to this day continues to pursue l.  c, who's digits never made it into the iphone, spotted "m5" and his new girlfriend at dinner yesterday.  have you heard the new maroon 5 song, misery?




kisses&disses

kisses:
- adam levine is hot.
- a roommate who takes the grenade.  everyone has to make the sacrifice sometime.  have YOU done any good in the world today?
-  owls migration patterns are nomadic and irregular.  kind of like our dating lives.  and lauren's period. kidding.  love, c

disses:
- guys with flip phones.  allow us to introduce you to the 21st century, where phones have internet, touch screens, and don't require you to pull up an antenna to get service.  can you hear me now?  good.
- outdoor parties. in july.  in arizona.  don't have them.  leave immediately if you end up at one.

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in other news, the lead singer of lfo died today.  let's take a moment to remember our summer girls who look like abercrombie&fitch models, and thank the man who put our memories to lyrics.  rest in peace rich cronin.  when you meet st. peter, tell him your name is rich... but stop there.